Tuesday, August 31, 2010

This Heart

At the Heart of the Heart of Me

This heart at the heart
of me refuses to beat
instead prefers to slide and slump
and sit like a leaden lump
at the heart of the heart of me.

It bears no convincing,
no cajoling, no joy,
it turns its arterial back
on the world, and I feel
with a jerk, the twisting
at the heart of the heart of me.

At the heart of the heart of me
there is a blackened cinder,
all that is left when the Holy Spirit
up and quits the house, driven out
by years of use and abuse
at the heart of the heart of me.

This heart has no motion I can move
it cannot be stirred or pounded
run three miles and still it doesn't stir
at the heart of the heart of me.

Leaden lump, oh, my heart
what will make you move?

Neither lust, nor love, nor hate, nor beauty,
nor pride, nor passion, nor sense, nor longing,
nor hope, nor faith, nor long-standing grief,
nor storms, nor powers, not even God
Himself can squeeze this
fleshly fist and make it live.
For at the heart of the heart of me
I give no permission.

[083110-2]

7 comments:

  1. This poem is excellent, compelling -- and slightly troubling, but in a way that does not diminish its excellence. It merits many rereadings.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Dear Dylan,

    Thank you. It may show the virtue of the deeply felt. In some ways, I have been all my life a Wordsworthian--incapable of composing in the moment, but in a stretch of serenity, tranquility after the event, sometimes sketching things out.

    Your words mean far more than you can know.

    shalom,

    Steven

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  3. Dear Dylan,

    I should also point out that the phrase "has no motion I can move," is a direct lifting from a poet-friend of mine who had not been widely published--Jay Bradford Fowler Jr. The original line--representing his own obsessions was something like, "The moon has no motion I can move."

    Don't want to be accused of plagiarism, and more, would like to see if others can discover the poetry of this very fine, but quite unknown poet.

    shalom,

    Steven

    ReplyDelete
  4. Dear Dylan,

    Turns out that he isn't as unknown, as I thought. I knew him before his first book of poetry was published and before he won his first award. But he is not as well known as he deserves. He was a good, if eccentric friend.

    shalom,

    Steven

    ReplyDelete
  5. Dear Dylan,

    Take a look at this Google Book, if you are interested.

    http://books.google.com/books?id=yv-O07Y3pjcC&printsec=frontcover&dq=jay+bradford+fowler+jr.&source=bl&ots=HduGSVSEfd&sig=ldjShT1Eo7Ixy2bLdslFL840Xuw&hl=en&ei=IRp9TJn5JoKdlgfi4KXsCw&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=6&ved=0CDQQ6AEwBQ#v=onepage&q=jay%20bradford%20fowler%20jr.&f=false

    shalom,

    Steven

    ReplyDelete
  6. Steven --

    Many thanks for this unexpected and welcome gift! For it is a gift, truly, to encounter poems such as "The Moon Has No Motion ..." and "Letter North." Thank you again.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Dear Dylan,

    Yes, "Letter North" is very, very nice. I remember reading the drafts of these in some of the creative writing groups we shared.

    shalom,

    Steven

    ReplyDelete